Last Night
by Rei Lerdia Swiftwood
Summary: What happens when Legolas(owned by JRR Tolkien) Talith(owned by Silver Lioness), Rei and Thynin(both owned by me) got to the Prancing Pony for their yearly meeting...and get drunk! Please R/R!!
1. The Beginning....

It was a cold was a cold night and four traveler's made their way to the Prancing Pony. Rei Swiftwood, Legolas Greenleaf, Talith Telcontar, and Thynin Blackstar. They sat down at a table towards the back. Quietly, they spoke among themselves about what was going on during this time of year. Each lived in different parts of Middle Earth but they always met on this day. Rei told about her adventures... Thynin told his side of a tale that nearly landed him in a dungeon....Legolas told of the dealings with Gondor and Talith told of how well her father(Aragorn) had taught her about swordplay. Barliman served them drink and food happily. The old innkeeper loved seeing the group of friends each year.   
During the course of the evening, the small band of friends....got drunk. Legolas was standing upon a table with Talith singing horribly off key while Rei was playing tag with Thynin. Thynin ducked behind the bar much to Barliman annoyance. Rei lunged at him, seeming to go in slow motion. She smacked into the bar...paused a moment...then slide down it, making a 'thud' noise once she hit the floor. Thynin looked over the bar, smirked then fell over laughing hysterically. Meanwhile....Legolas had was running over tables and chairs in a fit trying to get away from Talith. She had apparently thought him to be some sort of toad, which she hated. The Prince murmured something in coherent and dived under a table which he stuck halfway out of. Talith, not seeing his legs, tripped, fell, tumbled, smacked into a few chairs, and finally came to rest at Thynin's feet. The Elf looked down at her, smiled and helped her up only to shove her backwards into the waiting arms of Legolas. Legolas then, dumped a bucket full of ice water on her head. She shrieked and fell to the floor....unconscious. Legolas looked at Thynin who looked back at the Prince. Then both burst out laughing. The male Elves stood laughing, not knowing Rei was walking up behind them armed with.... A frying pan! She whacked Thynin with it, sending the Elf swiftly into the land of dreams. Legolas ducked and dodged her attacks for a few moments then reeled and hit the ground too. Rei laughed and pointed at the Elves on the floor Til she too was sent to the land of dreaming by non-other than....Nob!   
When morning came around..... everyone had major headaches. Barliman told them of their antics the night prior and everyone's jaw hit the floor. Legolas paled...Talith stood shocked to the bone...Thynin gaped...and Rei.... well...she kinda of passed out. By the time they all gained their composure... noon had set in. They would be late returning home by last night would be a night to remember. 


	2. Talith's Blame...

A few days later, Talith was in the Citdel. She had locked herself there so she would not have to explain herself to Aragorn. Aragorn, of course, finally got her out of asked her to explain. She said that Legolas was the one to blame for her antics. Aragorn was not overly pleased and he left Talith alone. He sent word to Thranduil about what had occurred.   
Thranduil called his son into see him. Legolas walked in took one look at his father's face and then fell over backwards his legs stuck straight up in the air.   
"Legolas...you got some esplaining to do.." his father said. Rei was snickering from the corner of the room. Thranduil walked over, grabbed Rei by the ear, and pulled her to her room. "Now stay there Til ya know whatcha did!" he said and locked her there. Muffled cries were heard. The Prince, in the meantime, had claimed his horse and was leaving. He had to talk to Talith.   
The Prince made record time to Minas Tirith. When he got there, Aragorn had instructed his guardsmen to watch out for The Prince of Mirkwood. Legolas, being an assassin (hehehe), snuck into the castle. He was humming his own theme music, much to the annoyance of the guards who passed him by without thinking. When he found Talith, she was alone...kinda. Thynin was with her. They were talking... Sort of. They turned and looked at the Prince. Legolas sniffled a bit, from a cold, and sighed. The Prince walked over to his two friends. Thynin grinned, stupidly( -_- ) and pulled a lever? Yes a lever. Blinking, the Prince looked down, seeing no floor, he screamed like a girl and feel through the floor to....  
"AH!!!!!!!!!" Legolas screamed as he sat up in bed. He put his hand to his head and closed his eyes. "What an odd dream.." he said. There came a knock to his door and...... 


	3. Author's trouble...

Legolas woke up to see.... Nothing. There was nothing in his room. Not a candlestick left. He slipped from bed and walked over to the chest at the end of his bed, but it was gone. Even the rugs on the floor were gone. Now by this time the Prince is thinking something is going on. He walked over to the door and opened it.   
"What is...where is everyone?" the Prince left his room and walked down the halls of Mirkwood. There was nothing or anyone about to answer his questions. What had happened in his dream? Even he could not remember now but it mattered little. He walked into his father's study. His father was gone as well. There had to be something going on. After awhile, he mounted his horse and rod towards Minas Tirith. He was planning on speaking with Talith. When he got there, same result as in Mirkwood; no one was seen. Then an ear-piercing scream echoed around the silent town. The Prince dashed towards it and came across a rather huge building he had not seem before. He opened the door and....  
Author: Hey! Get outta here Elf-boy!   
Legolas: Where is everyone?  
Author: Dunno  
Legolas: Yes you do  
Author: No I don't  
Legolas: Yes  
Author: No  
Legolas: Yes!  
Author: NO!  
L: YES!  
A: NO!  
L: YES YOU DO YOU'RE THE WRITER!!!  
Author: I am? Well now imagine that. Now good bye! ::boots the Elf out into the deserted scene ::  
Legolas: :: grumbles about how mean the author is but then gets a swift knock on the head by the HUGE script::   
He reads the script, sighs and then stalks off. "I can't work like this! Everyone left because I over slept!! ::breaks down crying:: All I wanted was some friends....  
  
  
  
  
To Be continued...maybe   
If the cast don't riot.   
Author: Help me!!! ::runs away from Elves wielding....axes?!?!  
Legolas: :: evil grin upon his face:: COME HERE YOU WRITER!!!  
Author: AIE! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! 


	4. Author's Revenge...

::the Author sits at a table....with her computer before her. Legolas stands a few feet behind her, his bow on her::  
"Now type this" he ordered. "I, the author, of this story, am sorry for all the trouble I have put Prince Legolas, the most handsome Elf in Mirkwood, no in all of Middle-Earth." The author typed it all up for the Elf.   
"Happy now Elf? Now go away!" she snapped. Legolas grinned and walked out of the room. The author, a grin upon her face, instead typed the following;  
  
"I am Legolas, hear me roar! I will destroy everything in Middle-Earth. No one will defeat me!"   
  
She smiled and sent that in to Gandalf. Gandalf read it, his eyes bugged out and he ran all the way to Rivendell...from outside it (that's a long run for an old guy). Elrond read it, flipped completely and landed in a mental hospital so Arwen had to rule but... She was off with Aragorn...Somewhere. By the time Legolas got home to Mirkwood, the guards awaited him.   
"Halt! You are under arrest!" yelled a guard. Legolas, a slight smirk on his face, replied" For what? Treason?"  
"Yes!" Legolas about died. What had happened?   
"The author..." he ran away from his home, guards upon guards guards upon guards guards upon guards guards upon guards ...etc. ran after him.   
  
Legolas raced back to where he had left the author. She, of course, was gone. He read the message on the screen then fell to his knees screaming" NNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Computer read" Sorry Lego beat ya this time dude. Enjoy my little friends. Sincerely yours, Author"   
  
  
  
  
Very bored and yeah well, it is funny? Right!? Please say it is!!! 


	5. Thynin's Insanity...

Legolas groaned under his breath then took of running once more. The elves of both Mirkwood and umm..that other place,(You know where the half elven lord guy lives)  
were both after the former Prince. Talith was standing beside something that legolas dashed by. She was laughing. He stopped and asked her why she was laughing.  
"I laugh at your misfortune" she replied. With a frown Legolas continued on his way until he came to...a fork on the road. \  
He groaned again and went left. After some time he came to another fork in the road.   
"Looks familiar" he groaned(see a pattern?) and went left(yet another pattern). Once again after some time he came across another fork.  
"Gee, I would swear I saw this before" he groaned( stop it!) and went left again(go right!!)  
....AFter some time....  
::legolas runs over:: wait wait wait!  
::Author looks up:: What now?  
Legolas: Do you enjoy seeing me walk around in cirlces?  
Author: Not really  
Legolas: then why make me?  
Author: I didn't  
Legolas: What?  
Author: Thynin asked me to make you go in circles.  
::Legolas, for the first time, noticed Thynin behind the computer across the room. He stalked over to him and grabbed the Elf::  
Legolas: What do you...  
Thynin: I didn't!  
Legolas: ...  
Thynin: I didnt I swear it!  
Legolas: ...Uh huh, well then who did?  
Thynin: Dunno  
::legolas looks ot the Author::  
Author: Oh no you don't Legoset. Dont you dare look at me like that.  
Legolas: Dont call me that  
Thynin: LEGOSET LEGOSET LEGOSET LEGOSET!!!!  
::Legolas groaned(grrr stopp it!) and sighed::  
Legoals: Will it never end?  
Author: Not while people like reading about your misfortunes!  
  
  
hehehe hope you enjoy it! 


	6. Rei's Dumb Hiding Place...

Legolas glared at Thynin and at the Author before he stormed out of.... wherever he was. Thynin looked at the Author before he dove back to the computer. He typed in a sentence then ran away laughing. "I will be back!" was typed in big bold letters  
Author: Boy... that was original.   
  
Sometyme later...  
  
Talith: You're going the wrong way.  
Legolas: Can it Tally mark.  
Talith: Hey!!!!  
Legolas: ::grins:: did I hit a.....  
::Talith lunged at him and they both fell....... And fell...and fell...*yawns* and fell...... until they for some reason stopped in midair and just walked away::  
Author: What was that!?  
Talith: Dunno  
Legolas: I don't know nor care. I'll be in my trailer house should be needed. ::he exits...  
stage right::  
Talith: Umm........Ok? Hey Author wanna go to a club?  
Author: Sure but we have to find Thynin first.  
Talith: For that matter....where is Rei?  
Author:.....  
Talith: You don't know?!  
Author:..  
Talith: ..... find her or we will be in trouble  
Author: Ok.... ::points at a drape which is moving:: she there!  
::For the sake my sanity, Rei jumped out from behind the drape::  
Talith: Rei!  
Rei: Talith!  
::both hug and then look left...then right....then do their 'secret handshake' ::  
Author: Club anyone?  
::The three go to a club then::  
  
  
Author Note:  
Checklist:  
Boredom? Check  
Insanity? Check  
Bad Reviews? Hope not  
Funny beyond all reason? Check  
  
Ok back to your regularly scheduled ...thingy! 


	7. Faithful Minstrel to the Rescue...

After they had stayed at the club till nearly dawn, the three came back. Author sat down at her computer and gasped. It was blank and would not turn on.  
Author: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHERE IS THE ELF! THAT GREENLEAF!  
Talith: I Dunno.   
Rei: Like we know? We were:: yawns:: with you!  
Author: Good point... find them and bring them to me!  
:: both Rei and Talith leave to find Legolas and Thynin ::  
::they all return in like an hour and Legolas and Thynin were bound and tied ::  
Legolas: WHAT IS THIS!?  
Author: You destroyed my computer so hence I destroy your storyline Legolas. Thynin, you my friend will be cast into the past.  
Thynin: NOOOOOOOOO  
:: the Author casts Thynin into the Middle Ages ::  
Legolas: uh oh...  
Author: You're mine Greenleaf!  
Voice: Not it I can help it!  
:: a mysterious Elf leaped into the fray of people and saved the Prince ::  
Legolas: thanks but umm...who are you again?  
Lindaran: Names Lindaran, you know, your friend?  
Legolas: oh yeah that guy  
Lindaran:...  
Rei: Lindaran! :: she flung her arms about his neck and began to drown him in kisses::  
Lindaran: Rei! I can't:: tries to breath:; Breath here!  
Rei: Ok right sorry bout that   
Lindaran: it's fine love  
Talith:.... MINSTREL!  
Lindaran: eh?  
Talith: nothing.... :: evil grin::  
Lindaran: I'm not liking that look in her eye...  
Rei and Legolas: Me neither...  
::the three Elves backed away while the Author watched on wondering what she had to do to make Talith chill..::  
  
  
  
Hope you enjoy it. Once again, sorry I haven't updated in awhile. Been busy! 


	8. Mud + Elf = Fun...

The Elves had gone into hiding due to the fact that Talith had gone crazy with rage over the minstrel's wonderful singing/instrument talents. The Author, of course who doesn't really care and is laughing as she does this, just watched the events unfold as Legolas stepped into the ring with Rei.   
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen! We have the event you have all been waiting for!   
Shall we begin?  
:: both Rei and Legolas nodded, determined looks on their faces::  
Announcer: All righty then! Lets give it up for Rei Swiftwood and Legolas Greenleaf!  
Remember, make it clean.  
:: both nodded once more then a bell sounded. Rei lunged at Legolas who ducked and then tripped Rei. Rei did a face plant into the mud that covered the rig. A cheer rose from the crowd followed by sounds of "ouch" "that had to hurt" and "oooooo". Legolas groaned and wiped a large amount of mud from his face. Rei grinned and pounced on him. She shoved his face into the mud::  
Rei: That's for missing my first 100 birthdays Prince!  
Legolas: Nut mai failt :: muttered the Prince as he was coughing up mud and still managed to get away from his cousin. He then flipped the tables and pounced on Rei. She yelped in pain::  
Legolas: Are you Ok?  
Rei: :: evil grin:: Fine!! ::she smashed a handful of mud into his already dirty blond hair and laughed::  
Legolas: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Announcer: Would you look at that folks? A cheap shot then another back. This fight could last a long time. Now for a commercial   
  
  
TBC... 


	9. Healer VS Minstrel...

Announcer: That was a spectacular fight folks If I do say so myself. Now for the next event  
::Talith and Lindaran stepped up and into the ring. Much to the amusement of the minstrel, the young lady slipped and fell. The crowd held back laughter as Talith got back on her feet::  
Talith: Come on, minstrel!  
Lindaran: Bring it on!  
Announcer: Remember a clean fight and no- ::he ducked quickly as Talith launched a ball of mud at him::  
::with Talith already muddy, it was difficult for the minstrel to get ahold of her. She kept slipping, literally, through his fingers. Each time, he fell, he cursed in Elvish under his breath and lunged at her again only to miss. Talith sidestepped out of another lunge and laughed as Lindaran slipped, fell over the ring's bounds and hit the ground. The only way you to tell the mud pile was alive was the vivid cursing coming from it. ::  
Talith: that's what you get. ::she smiled proudly then turned around to face a knuckle sandwich from Rei::  
Rei: Don't hurt my minstrel!   
Announcer: What an unexpected change in plans folks! We will have to get a word with Mistress Rei after this is over.  
  
  
TBC... 


	10. Archer VS Healer...

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen this is a truly fascinating fight! Rei just leaped onto Talith from the side of the arena. Let's get a word with Legolas and Lindaran.   
:: camera moves from the fight to the two Elves sitting on the side, drinking coffee and eating donuts. They freeze; Legolas in mid-sip of his coffee and Lindaran in mid-bit of his donut. Instantly they throw everything away and smile at the camera.::  
Legolas: come on Talith!  
Lindaran: you can do it Rei  
::both refuse to look at the camera and are standing by the side, cheering for their love.::  
Announcer: Well... uhh... back to the fight!  
::camera moves back to the fight where Talith has Rei pinned to the floor. Rei choked on the mud and ceased to move. Talith stood proudly only to be knocked to the floor by a foot. Rei stood up, covered head to foot in mud. She was breathing hard::  
Rei: nice try princess  
Talith: I hate that!  
::Talith lunged at Rei and the Elf dodged easily, sending Talith into the stands. Lindaran burst out laughing until he got hit by Legolas and he stopped with a smile still on his face of course::  
Announcer: We'll be right back with the results of this fight ladies and gentlemen! 


End file.
